There are a few things:
Letting other people make certain relationship decisions for you
While it’s generally smart to ask for outside perspectives when it comes to making decisions in relationships, letting anyone but you and your person determine the direction it takes is a massive mistake because nobody truly knows and understands that relationship better than you and the person you have it with.
Therefore, the relationship advice you get from others who don’t even know you personally should always be taken with a massive grain of salt and not as the only correct way forward, even if it sounds really good.
Is why before asking online strangers or friends for advice or why your person behaves a certain way, trust your intuition and go and directly ask your person first.
Because at the end of the day, only they can give you the true answer on what’s really going on with them and only through this open communication can you two discover solutions to certain problems in the relationship that may or may not improve things.
If they’re not willing to communicate with you like an adult, then you got to decide for yourself if you want to put up with this or not.
But again, don’t leave the direction, future and fate of your relationship in the hands of people who don’t know you or who are secretly jealous of what you have going on with your person.
Silent treatment
This isn’t just when your person shuts down like how avoidants tend to do it. It’s also a kind of passive aggressive behavior where they withdraw and let you figure out why they’re doing that.
Where rather than speaking up, through their behavior they indirectly say:
‘I’m upset but I wont tell you why and now it’s your job to figure it out’
Reason this ruins relationships is because it creates an environment of secrecy and contempt which ends up corroding the foundation of respect and love because there’s no real understanding.
Where certain problems remain unsolved indefinitely and therefore eventually compound into a breakup because it creates barriers that over time become incrasingly more difficult to overcome.
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